There is an interesting statistic that the time period between a separation and the actual divorce is somewhere around 2.8 years. To some, this may seem like an incredibly long time, while others may see it as not being long enough. There are many reasons out there for delaying a divorce after a separation.
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Many couples look at a separation as a time for reflection on the marriage. One or both of them may be hoping for reconciliation and for the marriage to continue in a more satisfactory manner. Many couples engage in counseling during this time.
Not a Requirement
Some couples really do not feel the need to actually divorce. Some people think that the divorce is simply a legal procedure that doesn’t really mean much, that “it’s just a piece of paper.” This may be a satisfactory position to take until certain other legal situations take place. For instance, if one spouse decides to remarry, the lack of divorce papers will certainly stand in the way.
In today’s fast-paced world, many couples just decide that they just don’t have the time to deal with all the details that a divorce entails. They are involved in work, in raising children, and in other social activities, so filing those divorce papers is just too time-consuming. In addition, many couples think that they will be spending countless hours with attorneys and the courts—time they would rather spend elsewhere.
Divorcing couples often find themselves embroiled in settlement minutiae. This may be child custody, spousal support, and/or property and financial divisions. One party may also be dragging his or her feet during these settlement talks to either try to get more or pay less or just may be hoping for reconciliation. Consulting sites such as Total Divorce.com for legal advice can provide direction as to possible solutions.
Some people may be reluctant to actually file for divorce for a number of emotional reasons. It may be hard for a person to actually realize that he or she is now “divorced.” The term has, in the past, carried some negative connotations that have carried into the present day. There may also be familial, religious, or societal norms that will create a less-than-satisfactory life should a person divorce.
In the end, couples should look closely at their respective relationships—not only individually but also for the children should there be any. Is the current relationship a healthy one or is it creating unnecessary tension and stress? Make sure that just staying in a separation is best for everyone.